How to Give Good Feedback: A 7-Step Feedback Model

Josefine Campbell & Gitte Justesen
June 10, 2026

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A model for structuring feedback conversations so they actually land.

But how do you give feedback in a way that actually lands?

Many feedback conversations at work go wrong. Not because the intention is bad, but because the conversation lacks structure, timing, and psychological safety. We jump straight into our observations before knocking on the door. We offer solutions before we have listened. We never check whether the message has actually landed before moving on.

In this article, you will get a practical guide to better feedback conversations, a stronger feedback culture, and more professional communication in teams and leadership. The Fit for Feedback model was developed to give feedback a backbone: seven steps that make the conversation constructive, both for the person giving feedback and for the person receiving it.

What is a feedbackmodel?

A feedback model is a structure that helps people give and receive feedback in a way that creates understanding, learning, and growth instead of defensiveness and conflict.

Our Fit for Feedback Model© is a practical seven-step framework that helps leaders, employees, and teams give constructive feedback in a way that ensures the message actually lands.

If you prefer reading in Danish, you can read that version here.

Meet Lone og Mikkel – An Example of a Feedback Conversation

Lone and Mikkel are both department managers in a large Danish manufacturing company. They have been part of the same leadership team for a year and a half.

Lone is the quick one. She reads the agenda on her way into the room, already has an opinion before everyone has finished saying hello, and “talks with her hands.” When something interests her, and it often does, she jumps into other people’s sentences with “yes, but…” or “listen to this…”. She is aware of it. But she means it well; it is energy, not insensitivity.

Mikkel is completely different. He reads all material twice before saying anything. His contributions are thoughtful, but they often come at the end of a meeting – or not at all. During the last three leadership meetings, Lone noticed that Mikkel sat looking down into his notebook while the discussion about production capacity continued without him. She knows he has strong opinions on exactly that topic. But they never made it to the table.

They have scheduled a coffee Friday morning. They have agreed to give each other feedback. Both are slightly nervous.

Here is what the conversation looks like when they use our feedback model.

Figure: The Fit for Feedback Model©, Josefine Campbell (2024)

What the 7 Steps Look Like in Practice

Step 1: Check-in / Mind

Lone has blocked Friday morning at 8 a.m. in her calendar because she knows they are both at their sharpest in the morning. She has no meetings before or after. From experience, she knows that if she tries to give feedback after a busy leadership meeting while she is still emotionally activated, she sounds accusatory even when she does not mean to. So that Friday morning, she has had her coffee, walked around the building, and is ready. In the green zone.

The green zone is a mental state where you are ready, able to think clearly, listen properly, hold other people’s perspectives, and consciously choose how to respond. You are fit for collaboration. The red zone is the opposite: your brain is hijacked, the amygdala has taken over, and you react automatically instead of consciously. In my first book, Power Barometer, I describe these two mental states and how crucial they are for our ability to work together.

The feedback conversation begins, and Lone looks at Mikkel as he sits down. He seems calm, perhaps slightly cautious, but not pressured. She assesses that he is also in the green zone.

Check. Step 1 is complete, and the conversation can begin.

If Mikkel had looked hijacked with red eyes, exhausted, saying he had been up all night with a sick child, Lone would have suggested moving the conversation to Monday. Not because the feedback would have been wrong, but because it would not have landed properly.

Step 2: Knock

Lone starts. She knows she is the fast one, and she has practised slowing down a little.

“Mikkel, I’ve noticed something during the recent leadership meetings that I’d like to share with you. I think it could be useful for you. Would you be okay talking about it?”

Mikkel could say no. He could say, “Can we take it another day?” But he says yes. In fact, he has been thinking about it himself.

Step 3: Observation

“During the last three leadership meetings, I noticed that you sat looking down into your notebook while we discussed production capacity. I didn’t notice you saying anything during that discussion.”

Notice what Lone does not do. She does not say, “You’re too quiet,” or “You don’t take responsibility.” She describes what she observed: three specific meetings, one specific topic, one specific behaviour. Not a judgement about Mikkel as a person.

Step 4: Effect

“My experience is that we missed your perspective. I know you’ve worked extensively with production capacity in your department, and I think we would have made a better decision if you had been part of the discussion. I also leave those meetings feeling like I’ve taken up too much space, and it would make things easier for me if you were just as active in the conversation as I am.”

She shares the effect on herself and the group. She does not say, “You should have said something.” She says, “My experience is…”

Step 5: Listen

Lone stays quiet. It is difficult for her; she is used to filling silence. But she knows that if she fills it now, she will never hear what Mikkel actually has to say.

So she bites her tongue, even though she really wants to explain herself.

Step 6: Reframe

This is the step most people skip.

Mikkel takes his time. Finally, he says:

“So what you’re experiencing is that I’m not expressing my opinion, even though it could be valuable to the group?”

Lone says, “Yes.”

Mikkel continues:

“That’s true. I didn’t say anything. I actually had a lot to say. But I needed time to think it through one more time, and before I was ready, the conversation had already moved on. And once I was finally ready, it felt silly to pull everyone back.”

Lone then reframes Mikkel’s response to make sure she has understood his perspective correctly:

“Let me check that I understood you properly. You’re saying that you had something valuable to contribute, but you didn’t manage to formulate it before we had already moved on. And at that point, it felt too late to bring us back. Is that correct?”

Mikkel nods.
“Yes. And honestly, things move too fast for me when you jump in halfway through a sentence. I lose my train of thought.”

That was the important part. Lone did not get that in the first round. The Reframe step gave Mikkel space to say what was really at stake.

Now it is Mikkel’s turn to give feedback to Lone. He uses the same model.

“Lone, I also have something regarding our leadership meetings. Is it okay if I share it with you?”

(Knock)

“When we discuss things during leadership meetings, you often jump in before the person speaking has finished. Yesterday it happened three times during the discussion with Henrik.”

(Observation.)

“My experience is that I lose my train of thought when it happens — and I think others do too. I believe we lose valuable contributions that way.”

(Impact.)

He stays quiet.

(Listen.)

Lone takes a breath and reframes:

“What I hear you saying is that you experience me as not giving space for other people’s contributions?”

Mikkel nods, and Lone continues:

“Yes. I know I do it. I just didn’t realize how much it affected you.”

Mikkel reframes:

“So what I hear is that you were aware of the behaviour, but not the impact?”

Lone nods.

Step 7: Suggest / coach

Now come the suggestions. Not as commands, but as suggestions and questions.

Lone says to Mikkel:

“What do you think would help? Should we try making an agreement that you speak first on topics where you have the deepest expertise?”

Mikkel thinks for a moment.

“Maybe. Or maybe I could simply mention at the beginning of the meeting which topics I want to comment on. Then people know to wait for me.”

“We can do that.”

Mikkel asks Lone:

“What do you think would help you wait?”

Lone laughs.

“If you kick me under the table.”

“Deal.”

Why Does this Model Work?

The model works because it is built on three important insights into what is really at stake when people give each other feedback. Understanding these insights matters. That way, the model becomes more than just a recipe, it becomes a way of thinking about the conversation itself.

1. Feedback Is About Seeing the Other Person’s Perspective

Feedback is not a judgement. It is not the truth. It is simply another person’s perspective on you, and that perspective is useful to understand.

We all have blind spots. That is why they are called blind spots: we cannot see them ourselves. Lone could not see how much her interruptions affected Mikkel until he told her. Mikkel could not see that his silence was interpreted as disengagement until Lone told him. Both were walking around with blind spots that the other could see clearly.

If you think you can fully see yourself from every angle, you are mistaken. Nobody can. That is exactly why feedback is an offer of extra eyes and an extra brain. Not because the other person’s perspective is more correct than yours, but because it is different. And two perspectives together are always more than one. Often, we become better together.

That also means the person giving feedback must remain humble. You are not giving “the truth.” You are giving your perspective. And the receiver is not obligated to agree but to listen with an open mind.

2. To Understand Each Other, We Need Resonance

People do not hear the same thing, even when the same words are spoken. Lone said, “I didn’t notice you saying anything,” but what Mikkel heard could just as easily have been, “You don’t take responsibility,” or “You’re too quiet.” It depends on his interpretation, his day, and his history.

That is why Step 6: Reframe is so crucial. When Mikkel repeats in his own words what he heard Lone say, both of them discover whether the message actually landed. Lone gets a chance to adjust if that was not what she meant. Mikkel gets a chance to hear himself say it out loud and feel whether it makes sense.

That is what we call resonance: when what is said and what is heard vibrate on the same frequency. Without resonance, we talk past each other even when we think we agree. With resonance, we have a chance to truly understand each other, and that is where feedback creates value.

Resonance takes time. It cannot be rushed. That is one of the reasons most feedback conversations are too short: we move on before checking whether we actually understood each other.

3. Both People Must Be in the Green Zone – ready

Being in the green zone is the foundation for everything that follows. If just one of you is in the red zone (hijacked) you cannot create resonance, and you cannot hold another person’s perspective.

In my book, Power Barometer (Campbell, 2023), I describe how we mentally exist in either the green zone (ready) or the red zone (hijacked). When you are in the green zone, you can think clearly, listen properly, and consciously choose how to respond. When you are in the red zone, the amygdala, the brain’s alarm system, has taken over, and you react automatically. You cannot think clearly. You cannot hold other people’s perspectives. You are far more likely to feel attacked.

Imagine the conversation between Lone and Mikkel if Lone had been in the red zone:

“Mikkel, I think you should stop staring down into your notebook. It’s disrespectful to the rest of the leadership team.”

Same message. Completely different outcome. Mikkel would have shut down before the next sentence.

Or imagine the conversation if Mikkel had been in the red zone – tired, pressured, defensive. Even Lone’s gentlest wording would have sounded like an attack. He would have defended himself, explained things away, or shut down completely.

That is why Step 1: Check-in / Mind, is the most important step in the entire model. The other steps matter too, but they only work if both of you are in the green zone. If you are hijacked, wait. If the other person is hijacked, knock on the door later. You lose nothing by waiting. On the contrary, you gain a conversation where there is actually room for two perspectives, resonance, and mutual understanding.

That is what feedback is really about: mutual understanding that makes us wiser about ourselves and each other so, that together we can move somewhere better. If you would like to take a deep dive into the subject of good feedback at work, you can read this article: Feedback at work: An ABC guide for feedback in the green zone.

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Train Feedback in Your Organisation

The Fit for Feedback model was developed through many years of working with leadership teams, executive groups, and organisations in international companies. It is described in the Danish book, Er du klar eller kapret? (Campbell, 2020) and builds on the research and practice that Gitte Justesen and I have gathered in Your Talent Guide (Campbell & Justesen).

At Campbell Co., we facilitate feedback training for leadership teams and organisations that want to build a feedback culture where people dare to say what needs to be said, in a way that lands. Every programme is tailored to the specific context, leadership level, dynamics, and maturity of the team.

Would you like to train feedback together?
Then write us at: hello@josefinecampbell.com, if you would like a
Fit for Feedback workshop in your organisation. We tailor the programme to your needs.

What's next?

Choose one conversation you need to have this week. Write down the seven steps before you go in. Check the zone first. Knock before entering. Be concrete. Stay quiet after describing the impact. Reframe and finally, find a shared way forward.

And remember: you do not have to master all seven steps perfectly. If you simply remember Step 1 and Step 6, your feedback will already be better than most people’s.