Three Steps to Deal with Difficult Conversations That Matter

Josefine Campbell & Gitte Justesen
September 12, 2025

Share This Post

How a broken business partnership found its way back. When a working relationship breaks down, it’s easy to fall into blame and silence. In this article you’ll get a three-step framework that helps rebuild trust through honest, constructive dialogue—one step at a time.

When Sara and Thomas first started their company, they were all in. She had the strategic mind and emotional intelligence to navigate clients and people challenges with ease. He brought contagious energy and sharp commercial instincts.

If you prefer reading in Danish, then you can read that version right here.

They (made up, but realistic examples) started their company with energy, trust, and friendship. But over time, miscommunication turned into mistrust. They began assuming the worst about each other. Every conversation felt loaded. Their team could feel the tension too.

Eventually, they came to coaching.

Step 1: Find a Common Goal

In our first session, they where asked a simple but powerful question:

What would feel like a meaningful and realistic outcome for your collaboration?

Step 2: Address Pain Points Constructively

In coaching, we didn’t dig through every detail of what went wrong. We didn’t try to agree on one version of the past.

As neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett explains, emotions are not simply reactions to what’s happening around us.

Step 3: The Conversation That Changes Everything

Once Sara and Thomas had reconnected around a shared goal and begun acknowledging each other’s emotional experience, we moved on to a more practical step: learning how to talk again—constructively, honestly, and without fueling further tension.

This is where our simple yet powerful three-step conversation framework were introduced. It’s designed to help people communicate with clarity and compassion, even in the middle of conflict. Whether you’re rebuilding a working relationship or navigating a personal disagreement, this method helps shift the dynamic from defensiveness to dialogue.

Here’s how it works:

Would you like the newest knowledge and inspiration sent directly to you?

Then subscribe to our monthly newsletter

1. Share your experience

Start by describing what you experienced. Use “I” language and avoid the trap of assuming your perspective is the full truth. The goal here is not to accuse, but to offer a window into how a situation felt for you—recognizing that it may not have felt the same for the other person.

The it imperative that you understand that there is not just one truth and that the other persons perspective is equally true to them as yours is to you. The objective is NOT to sort out what happened or what is true, but to find a common ground.

For example:
“When the decision was made without me, I felt left out and unimportant.”
Instead of:
“You always make decisions without me. You don’t care what I think.”

This shift matters. By owning your emotional experience, you reduce defensiveness and open space for understanding. It also signals that you’re aware of your own limitations in perceiving the full picture.

2. Ask for what you would like

Once you’ve shared your experience, shift the focus forward. What would help you feel more supported, respected, or connected in the future?

This step is often missed in conflict. People are quick to say what hurt—but slow to say what would actually help repair trust.

Think in terms of a clear, actionable request. Not a demand, and not a complaint disguised as a request. You’re not trying to change the past—you’re offering a roadmap for future interaction.

For example:
“I’d like us to agree that we check in with each other before making decisions that affect both of us.”
Or:
“It would mean a lot to me if we could agree to be direct with each other when something feels off.”

This is your chance to name what you need—not to punish, but to rebuild.

3. Ask if they’re open to it

The third step is about collaboration and consent. Instead of insisting on your request, invite the other person to respond:

“Would that be okay with you?”
“Do you think that could work?”
“What’s your take on that?”

This creates psychological safety. It signals that you’re not trying to control the outcome—you’re trying to co-create a better way of relating.

And if they say no? That’s okay too.

You can then explore: “What could work for both of us?” This keeps the conversation open and respectful, even if there’s disagreement.

How did it go for Sara and Thomas?

For Sara and Thomas, these steps were the turning point. Instead of circling around old frustrations, they opened up and saw the situation from each others perspectives. Hence they could agreed on a few simple principles: decisions that affected both of them were made together:

They wanted to check in briefly each morning to stay aligned
On those check-ins they made a point on the agenda where they together should check-in on if something felt off. Here they would have an open oppertunity to address it directly rather than let it simmer.
They created the “helpful room”. A short 15 min. check-in meeting twice a week to reasure if there was something the other could assist with.

Within weeks, their daily collaboration changed. Meetings became shorter and clearer, their team sensed the renewed trust, and the atmosphere lifted. By standing on this common ground of shared behaviors, they rebuilt not just their partnership, but also the energy of the whole company.

A Few Important Principles to Remember in conflict management

Don’t get stuck trying to prove who was right.
Rehashing the past usually deepens the divide. What matters most is understanding the impact—and moving forward.
Avoid blame. Focus on impact not intention. What you meant might not be what the other person felt. Acknowledge that and stay curious about their perspective.
Accept that each person’s story is valid to them. You don’t have to agree on every detail. What matters is respecting that their experience is real—for them.

A Way Forward, One Step at a Time

This isn’t just about business partnerships. This kind of conversation works between colleagues, friends, co-founders, even family members.

Are You in a Similar Situation?

If you’re facing tension in a partnership, co-founder relationship, or team dynamic, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to untangle it on your own. You’re welcome to reach out to us at hello@josefinecampbell.com.

If you want to develop your leadership role, I’m happy to have a chat. You can take a closer look at Josefine as a coach, Gitte as a coach, or our Leadership Team Development.

And remember that we help people in multinational companies developing leadership to realize dreams. If you would like to be updated with new articles and videos, sign up for our mailing list. Your mail is not shared with anyone and there are advantages to being on the list e.g., getting the first chapter of Josefine Campbell’s book, Power Barometer – How to Manage Personal Energy for Business Success.